frivolous fears

Posted on March 5, 2010


I’m not a particularly brave or courageous person. I’m not an especially cowardly or fearful person either. I do, however, have a not-so-healthy dose of random and trivial fears that pop up from time to time, and I feel as if it’s time to list them out, partly for me and partly for the sake of blogging.

  1. stepping into the shower with an article of clothing still on. this happened to me once my freshman year of college after a particularly long day, and I felt so, so foolish for it that I’ve been fearing repeating this scenario again ever since.
  2. getting into a fatal car crash while listening to an embarrassing guilty pleasure song. “in local news, a 25-year-old portland resident passed away today after colliding into the side of a dairy queen. the man was originally from california, and he was listening to taylor swift’s ‘you belong with me’ at the time of the crash.” aziz ansari (tom haverford on the ever-improving and hilarious NBC comedy, parks and recreation) talks about a similar fear in his standup routine, except he’s afraid of what he’ll be googling on his blackberry (i.e. himself) when he crashed and dies.
  3. sudden death due to cardiac shock when the shower water suddenly turns cold. another shower-related fear. weird. I haven’t done any scientific research on this, but it’s plausible, no?
  4. getting water on my pants while I’m washing my hands in a public restroom and people thinking I peed myself. this one’s pretty legit, I think. I’m not as confident as Billy Madison was, nor am I as convincing.
  5. electric shock. any way you think about, this does not seem in any way acceptable. I’m super careful when I plug/unplug cords. I vaguely remember putting a key into a wall socket when I was 5 or so, but I’m not too sure, and understandably so.
  6. losing a penny forever and then finding out my parents had to go bankrupt by the margin of one cent. alright, so this one is from my childhood, but still. granted, I didn’t understand the meaning of bankruptcy (I obviously had some vague understanding that it involved money and not enough of it), but I meant well. I used to keep every coin I found in the couch or on the sidewalk in a jar just in case I found out my parents were “going bankrupt.” this is probably the result of witnessing stressed, budgeting, scrimping-and-saving parents throughout my entire childhood.
  7. failure. alright, this isn’t so frivolous. but, it is a great segue. next post will be about my forreal fears.
Posted in: lists, reflection