much farther to go

Posted on January 13, 2010


welcome back, me.

since my last post, stuff has happened. to be more exact, lots of stuff has happened. not too much stuff, but a lot. I’ll get around to that in a later post.

I’ve never been one to make new year’s resolutions. well, that’s not entirely true. I made a set of resolutions my junior year of high school on a piece of scrap paper. but I ended up losing it, and then not caring about it (I think my concern for things moved pretty quickly from new year’s resolutions to SAT scores and music I could find on Napster), so that probably doesn’t count.

this year, however, I’ve decided to write some things down. part of my wish to do so may stem from the fact that I spent the last few months of 2009 thinking about 2010. not exactly carpe diem-y, but I’m suspecting 2010 could be pivotal, if not formative.  do I have evidential basis for that suspicion? no, except that my hunch has yet to be proven false.

so here are my first documented resolutions since the year I thought “drops of jupiter” was a great song. specific and nebulous, significant and silly – here’s to 2010.

  1. buy more produce, eat more produce. remember that things like sugar snap peas are crazy delicious, and not just because the word “sugar” is in the name.
  2. make a stop-motion video to a song I enjoy. the process will be time-consuming and taxing. the final product will be shitty. do it anyway.
  3. write more. moleskine, blog, bathroom mirrors, arm, whatever. do not be afraid of your own words. reject self-censorship, embrace expression. grammar and syntax are secondary to honesty.
  4. take the GRE. you’ve already registered. prepare, then show up. bring an ID, breathe, and be sure to wear pants. everything else will work out.
  5. (finally) apply to grad school. remember that this was one of the reasons you moved to Portland. this was your original plan. you now have a timeline. stick to it, go for it.
  6. get into grad school. actually, let’s start with making sure you remember to wear pants on the morning of the GRE.
  7. try my hand at the harmonica. just try. success is not guaranteed, or even expected. there’s no instrument more emotive than the harmonica, and it may behoove you to attempt to play it.
  8. speak less, listen more. make 2010 a year of listening. to others, to yourself, to non-verbal cues, to that gentle whisper that echoes with truth, love, and knowing.
  9. recover from the heel injury and pick up running again. it’s been nearly 2 months. body, hurry up!
  10. 185. it’s possible. even 200 seemed impossible just a few months ago.
  11. lean into spiritual practices. a moderate fascination with old testament practices that seemed really, well, pointless and moot was stoked a few years ago after reading the year of living biblically. continue and further that trajectory.
  12. give an unfamiliar genre of music a chance. who knows, maybe you’ll totally dig argentinian new wave.
  13. finish books. you currently have five books that aren’t even halfway read. don’t move on until these are done.
  14. keep loving mom and dad, even when it’s hard. over christmas, you were able to broach topics like postmodern theology, interracial relationships, and tattoos without having to storm out of the house out of frustration. mom and dad will not get much better at english, and you sure as hell aren’t getting any better at korean. be thankful for the dialogue you can have and their willingness to try. they love you more than you will ever comprehend. remember that and act accordingly.
  15. engage in more DIY projects. DIY projects are fine when you come across them in the blogosphere, but try some out! dare to be a yip-yip for halloween.
  16. keep exploring Portland. this is home. know your home, know it intimately.
  17. if 2010 disappoints, take it in stride. things fall apart, and sometimes, those things happen to be plans, expectations, and fondant on a cake. life can be brittle and messy, but every shard of a broken reality can be redeemed. roll with it.
  18. care. the world cannot afford a generation of apathy. do your part. act. make your words flesh.
  19. continue to refine the recipe for the “you know what I’m sayin’?” cupcake. literally and metaphorically. this will take time, dedication, grace, passion, and patience. but it will be worth it. every batch, every morsel.