here we go again (again (again))

Posted on March 21, 2008

4


hey again, everyone. (dear homeland security, this is not a dangerous/threatening blog.)

so, my previous attempt at blogging was a fantastic flameout. it started off well – I was more than excited to write things that I hoped were funny at best and non-boring at worst – but I greatly underestimated the amount of creative energy and impetus it would take to maintain such a blog. thus, the haikus, state rants, and song explications ground to a sudden halt. assuming someone out there hoped to read more, all I can say is “my bad.”

I reckon that I’ve always straddled the line between the creative and reflective. most people have found a way to meld and intersect the two (semi-) successfully; just read the massive amounts of beautiful (and bad but genuinely honest) poetry. these two facets – creativity and reflection – make up a substantial portion of who I am, and my inability to negotiate and combine the two like so many others already have serves as the axis around which my most frequent existential crises and questions revolve.

I reluctantly admit that I’ve got a knack for non-serious, silly writing, but also acknowledge that I’m incapable of masterfully manipulating written word to my liking. I also admit that I possess a penchant for recollection and insight, but am way too self-aware and self-wary to record my thoughts in a genuine manner, which I guess pretty much defeats the purpose of insight. style and wit frequently take precedence over substance and honesty, and I get trapped in the effort to make my thoughts come across as awesome. to whom, I don’t even know.

looking back at my past blogging attempts, it seems as if I’ve played into each of my shortcomings. my first blog ever comes across as a carefully hedged, perfectly managed cross-section of who I was at the time, and ultimately, how I felt about everything. my last blog was, in a way, the exact opposite: an attempt to deflect and distract away from reality, and instead paint skewed, disassociated, and momentarily humorous versions of such.

in light of all that, I guess this blog is my first real attempt at finally striking some sort of agreement between the creative and reflective. in essence, it’ll be a blog about whatever I feel like writing (god, that sounds ridiculously mundane). I assume some days will take on the “today I did this, this, and that” format, while other days may simply be a picture of bird poop on my car that I, for one reason or another, find relates to my attempts at living out some semblance of young adulthood.

so here it goes, another attempt to sequester the internets as a tool for personal growth. we’ll see. in the words of tobias funke, “Let the great experiment begin!”

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